Content Warnings: Self-isolation
Dear Reader,
Sometimes I feel like I’ve made a caricature of myself, a person who seems like they’ve never had a deep thought in their life. My people-pleasing self tends to only talk about topics others can relate to, so I avoid saying anything too depressing or just laugh things off to minimize the magnitude of the issue. It’s partly because I’m afraid of sympathy, and partly because I’m not sure if I can find the right words to do my story justice.
But now it feels like no one in the world truly knows all of me—those things I only share with paper—and it’s a bit terrifying.
I used to look for fragments of myself, desperately, in strangers. Did they also feel lonely, behind the facade of having everything together? Did they try to escape from life the same way I did? Did they also make a caricature of themselves? Maybe I hoped they had all the answers for me. But it got lonely, and I realized I was projecting. I can’t possibly expect everyone to live the same life.
The truth is that no one in the world can be exactly like you. Bits and pieces might be the same—and that’s amazing. That’s a friend right there, even a best friend. But there’s never going to be a 100% match with all of your life experiences.
Everyone can only get bits and pieces of you—a puzzle piece here and there. With honest heart-to-hearts, you can give people a better idea of the real you, but they can never get the whole picture, simply because they can’t live in your body or experience your past firsthand.
But that’s okay.
They don’t need to have had the same exact experiences to stay by your side through future hardships. Though they aren’t able to live your exact life, they’ve got your back.
I wish all I had to do was look at someone, and without me saying a single word, they would understand exactly how I felt. But real life doesn’t work like the movies, and mind readers don’t exist. If you want someone to know who you are, you must speak.
