Letter #215

Content Warnings: Anxiety, Self-Deprecation, Academic Stress

 

Dear Friend,

 

When I was younger, I used to feel like no matter what I did or how hard I tried, I was never gonna be good enough in my eyes. My teen years were the peak of my perfectionism. I was always criticizing myself for not being better. If I saw someone who was maybe smarter, or more talented than me, I would constantly beat myself up for not being like them. At the time, I thought I was doing something good. I thought it was good to try and strip myself of all my flaws, but what I failed to understand was that I was striving for a state of being that simply does not exist, no matter what I do or how hard I try.

 

College was definitely a turning point for me. Since then, I have been trying to imperfect myself little by little everyday, and the cumulative effects of my effort makes the change feel substantial. I rarely ever shame myself for not being as smart as the next person, which is progress considering that I used to bully myself all the time for my intelligence. I let myself make mistakes and learn from them, rather than trying to be perfect, messing up, and mildly hating myself afterward. I have come to realize that my imperfections are a beautiful part of me, and deserve to be cherished.

 

From,

A friend

 

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