Content Warnings: Depression, self-deprecation
Dear friend,
Recently, I’ve been finding myself overthinking a lot about my past mistakes and worrying that I might still be that same person. I’m someone who is really big on change and second chances, and, even though I’ve changed a lot and have gotten plenty of second chances as a kid, I can’t help but wonder that maybe I don’t deserve to be happy. Like having a chronic mental illness is a well-deserved punishment for being a misbehaved child.
There are some days where I find it pretty easy to get past my intrusive thoughts, while other days where I’m lugging around that burden with every step I take, every word I speak, just simply living feels like an arduous task. The only thing that seems to be helping a little is keeping myself grounded in the present moment, letting bad days be bad days and good days be good. Taking it one step at a time, giving myself some extra love on days I need it most, hoping that the progress compounds, and all my hard work pays off. Not obsessing over memories of the past, or what could happen in the future—just being here, in the present.
From,
A friend
