Letter #83

Content Warnings: religious stress


People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart” (1 Sam. 16:7). God is focused on your heart. Some think, ‘if I just believe right or behave right, I’ll be good enough,’ but the essence of Christianity is your heart.


One may ask, ‘how can I focus on my heart while complying with God and the world?’ As a young girl, I would get stuck spinning in circles, chasing my inner self that I rarely saw the world. I knew God wanted time with me for higher purposes – and yes, at times, I thought I missed out, until I learned I was receiving better than most. I got safety by focusing on my heart; protection, because I allowed God to purify my heart; and discipline I deserved and needed, so I could learn to self-govern and self-maintain, as I learned to understand a world that did not belong to me. 


The heart is the core of our being, and the Bible sets high importance on keeping our hearts pure: “Above all else, guard your heart”.


Each time I listen to people, I typically hear their complaints – feel the sadness and weight of the world. This weight burdens a person over time, and we are left cleaning up the mess another created because we have refused to guard our hearts. We, as humans, feel so deeply, but how deep should we feel? I am reminded that we feel, but our attention should be focused on the principles that are being instilled in us, therefore we should rise in thought. We are protecting ourselves with our inner work, and with great internal work comes rise.


I learned that continuing to replenish myself is of high importance. What I mean by that is, I find self-help, or educational resources, helpful in grappling with the unknowns we often harbor internally.


If I am feeling curious, instead of running the streets looking for answers, I typically do research, or spend time in libraries. We have to stop masking the world internally, and instead,  learn to rise above a world that is not meant for us to carry.


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