Letter #79

Content Warnings: Abandonment, Ghosting, heartbreak, betrayal, communication imbalance


In March of 2022, I came out to all my friends and family. A few weeks later I had met this one guy I was talking to and I fell for him pretty quickly. We would talk day in and day out, we would stay up together all night till 3 am just talking to each other. I was really falling for him. I was feeling a lot happier.


We went to different schools, so I didn’t really get to see him much in person. He told me he was going through a lot. He wasn’t really communicating with me as much as I was communicating with him. I had a friend whom I asked to check up on him and see how he was doing. I told her a lot about what was happening between us. She said, “He has a girlfriend.” My heart sank to my stomach. Once I found out about this, I was heartbroken. I had never been in a relationship before and I was hoping to have him be the first relationship I had ever gotten into.


I tried talking to him, but he would ghost me. We went from talking every night to never talking. It took me months to be able to block him on all social media. All my friends tried to convince me to block him, but I couldn’t build up the confidence to actually ever do it. I was hoping he would come back. But, he never did. I finally blocked him on all social media months later, but I still think about it to this day. I was improving, my mental health was getting better, and I started journaling.


I was happy. Looking forward, I hoped I would never see him again; till I did. And it hurts. I work at a grocery store with amazing friends that help me through everything. I was working one day and he came in. I saw him and I had to take a few minutes and walk away. My friends helped me through it and their support really helped me.


This is one of the biggest mental health struggles I have endured over the past year and I’m hoping it will get better as I continue to grow as a person and learn.

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