CW: domestic abuse
Dear you,
I hope your life is going well, if not, then I suppose welcome aboard. My brother and I, we had a pact, or I guess it was more of a promise. I’d wear a suit for his wedding, and I’d be his best man. For mine, he’d be my maid of honor and show up in a dress. He got married on the 4th, but his side of the family didn’t show up. All because we didn’t get to see his wife before the wedding. He didn’t even try to mend the relationship. We used to be close, so close that you wouldn’t be able to pull us off of each other once we were in the same room, but now I don’t even know where he lives or the names of the dogs he owns. Our disagreements started small. It began with my path in the future. He believed that I was cut for engineering because I was good with my hands, but that wasn’t something I wasn’t interested in, so physics became a subject I couldn’t talk to him about. Then I started to date, and when I got into a relationship with a guy who was very forceful, he blamed it on my lack of strength and resistance, saying that all girls were the same. Now, I don’t even talk to him. He’s a stranger to me.
There was a time where I felt like he was the only one who could understand me, when I thought that he was the only safe space I had, but he wasn’t. Or maybe I didn’t put in enough effort to keep that relationship. I’d just gotten so used to losing my safe places, used to losing the people I loved and cherished. I didn’t realize how much it had hurt me, but it does. It’s painful, the thought that people just leave. I hadn’t realized how detached I’d become as a person, just so used to letting go. I know our household wasn’t the most healthy, both our parents were people who were trying to outrun their generational trauma, they were trying, but there were times they’d lash out and it hurt. So I thought, we’d be close forever as siblings, but I don’t even know who he is anymore.
Stay safe, please.
Tags: Pressure, Loss, Sibling
