Letter #109

Content Warnings: suicidal thoughts/tendencies, depression


Finding Light in the Shadows of Sorrow 


Hello there, 


I want to share a story of loss, solitude, and eventual triumph over the darkest times of my life. It’s a journey that took me from the depths of despair to a place of hope, not just for myself but for others who might be finding themselves in similar shadows.


My world was upended in 2019 when my cousin, or brother, if you will, the beacon of light in my life, passed away. This loss shattered my heart and my understanding of life. We had dreams, plans to break free from the cycles that had held our family back for generations. Suddenly, I found myself navigating this world without my partner in crime, feeling utterly lost and alone.


I’ve always been the kind of person who finds it hard to say no, always striving to please others, often at the expense of my own well-being. My life has been a series of highs and lows, marked by the constant desire for approval from those around me. This, along with my deep-seated depression, made the grief even more unbearable. There were moments when the pain was so intense that I contemplated leaving this world behind, unable to see a future without him by my side.


In the wake of my cousin’s death, I made a decision that would eventually lead me down a path of healing. I moved away, far removed from everything and everyone I once knew. This physical distance allowed me the space to breathe, to reflect, and most importantly, to heal. My solitude became my sanctuary, and it was in those moments of quiet introspection that I began to peel back the layers of my identity…to understand who I truly was beneath the expectations and grief that had filled my life for so long.


Healing is not a linear process. It’s filled with ups and downs, waves of emotions, and moments of clarity followed by days of doubt. Yet, with each passing day, I found strength I never knew I possessed. I began to embrace my imperfections, set boundaries, and prioritize my mental and emotional well-being. My solitude taught me the importance of self-care and self-love – lessons that have become the cornerstone of my existence.


Today, I stand before you, dear reader, not just as a survivor, but as an advocate for mental healing. My journey through grief and depression ignited a passion within me to help others find their path to healing. I’ve become a voice for those who feel lost, a guide for those navigating the treacherous waters of mental health struggles. I’ve become the person I’d always needed.


If there’s one thing I’ve learned in life, it’s that even in our darkest moments, there is hope. There is always a light waiting to break through the shadows, even if we can’t see it in our moments of despair. Healing is possible. Finding yourself amidst the chaos is possible. And most importantly, transforming your pain into a purpose is possible. To anyone out there who feels like they’re drowning in the depths of despair, please know that you are not alone. Your feelings are valid, and they do not define you. There’s a world of beauty and possibility waiting for you on the other side of the pain. It won’t be easy, but I promise it will be worth it.


I’ve written this letter in the hopes of breaking barriers for you and anyone else who feels like no one understands. I’ve been where you are, and I’m here to remind you that all is not lost until YOU deem it so. May this letter remind you that hope is never lost. 

Thank you for allowing me to share my story with you today. Remember, in the midst of darkness, hope persists.


Sending my love, always.  



Leave a comment

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *