Content Warnings: Depression, anxiety, familial trauma
I live with my family, which is a blessing and a curse. Starting to think it’s more of a curse. I don’t know if I believe in curses, but if it’s real, I’m sure my family is cursed. Each day I wake up with anxiety. Shakes. Depression. Why? Because I know each day, I will get some kind of bad news from a family member.
This past month has been nonstop bad news. Not small ones, but life-changing ones. I am always so on edge that I just freeze. I can’t study or grow because I am too stressed out to function. Every day I wake up I stare out my window, thinking I need to leave and never come back. Never answer calls. Never write. Just go.
You know the quote, “ignorance is bliss”? Well, that’s how I want to live. The issues and problems I must hear every day make me so mad, angry, and sad. Everyone’s problems drain me. Hearing so many people’s issues in a day makes me want to run away. I have hope that one day I will walk out the door and never return. For now, I help when I can. I will also continue my studies in hope of a better life.