Letter #38

Content Warnings: Depression, suicidal thoughts

 

Depression. 

I did not know it was real, nor did I want to believe its existence. I honestly thought I could run away from it if I were to simply ignore it. But as days went by, 

Awareness of this unpleasant world escalated,

Insecurities became more apparent,

Mood aggressively declined,

Interests towards anything disappeared,

Willingness to live slowly faded away.

I began to wonder my reason for existing,

I started to question if the world would ever stop hurting,

I started to question if I would ever stop hurting.

I know this sounds dramatic,

I know it sounds like I am going crazy,

But bear with me, 

As my parents and friends did during such a time, 

A time when I eventually realized that YES

YES is the answer. 

Life will never be perfect–

Heck, no one is ever perfect, especially me–

But, with the right people and hopes, 

Depression will not be victorious. 

Instead of letting this humongous planet with its 8.1 billion people,

Determine my present and future,

Or have my past control my now,

I decided to take control of me. 

I am loved, cared for, and needed 

 

 

 

 

 

By the few handfuls of people I love, care for, and need.

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