Content Warnings: Self-deprecation, therapy, parental stress, academic stress
Growing up in a South Asian home has forever changed the way I view my mental health—and that’s a battle I face everyday. I’ve been conditioned to view my mental struggles as insignificant and a nuisance, so now when I have to face my internal war, I feel hopeless.
Over the years, I have tried to go to therapy so that I can sort through my battles once and for all, but I am yet to find a therapist who is able to truly understand my life as a South Asian person. Due to this fact, it is hard for me to go to therapy even though I know that I need to.
I struggle to find ways to cope with my strong emotions from time to time because I feel like I’ve never been able to learn those skills, and it really is starting to affect me now.
Academics have always meant a lot to me because I have always had really big dreams and aspirations that I want to achieve one day. But with a lot of emphasis on doing well in my academics comes the inevitable stress—especially when you have parents who expect a lot from you. These moments are when I wish I was able to talk to someone about my stress concerning the future and the stress I feel from my parents to always do well.
I always want to do everything I can to make my parents proud. They have done so much and sacrificed the world for my sister and I to be able to grow up and have opportunities that they never had. With that comes a burden because if you don’t do enough, you are disappointing not only yourself but also your parents. But if you continue to do well, you are obligated to take care of your parents for the rest of your life.
I have hopes to go to dental school, but I’ve only gotten rejections from every school I have applied to. I try to tell myself that it is a really big deal that I even got to the point of being able to apply since this has always been my long-term goal, but it wouldn’t be the truth if I didn’t admit that it sucks to get rejected from all of these schools. It sucks to let down my family and myself, but I am trying to tell myself that it is not the end of the world, and I can always try again next year. I am trying everything I can to not let it affect my mental health, but it is harder on some days than others.
