Letter #86

Content Warning: Schizophrenia, Medication, Job Stress


Dear C,


I just got diagnosed with Schizophrenia. Here I was thinking that I would leave home at 18 to go  to college and make my dreams come true. Instead, I lost my job in Americus, Georgia, and I walked out of a doctor’s appointment thinking I was going to die from Schizophrenia since the doctor said there was no cure. On my way home, I thought this couldn’t be true; I refused to believe I had Schizophrenia. I said to myself that I would pray to God and never give up on myself!


This was the last time I thought about my incurable medical condition. I had lost my job  and needed to figure out my life, which hit a stop due to my diagnosis.


Now, I must change the way I work and take medication daily, something I have never done. I have always worked well, rarely seen the doctor, and stayed pretty healthy! This felt like a nightmare with no end in sight!  Now, I have to move back home from college, and my mother will become my representative payee.


Are you kidding? No more independence! What a bad dream! My life feels like it is filled with lemons and bad luck! And I still have to find an employer who understands I have a mental disability. But I still do not think I have Schizophrenia; I believe nothing is wrong with me.

Rooting for myself!

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