Content Warnings: mentions of suicide, anxiety, depression, grief
Dear Stranger,
I’ve been trying to keep it together for a long time now. These past couple of months have been extremely stressful, and I feel like I need a long vacation to unwind and relax for a while. I need to be in a state of mind where I’m not anxious and depressed all the time—not that I’m always anxious and depressed—but some days are better than others. And it’s not like I always feel depressed and hopeless, although there are many days when it hits me pretty hard. But I haven’t always felt this way about myself. At least, not since the tragic incident that profoundly affected my family.
You see, eight years ago, when I was 23, I lost my little sister. She committed suicide. I wasn’t there when it happened. I didn’t see anything, nor did I need to. So, the grief and the harsh realization of our loss came to me later. And when it did, it took hold of me and promised never to let go. I still feel that grief to this day. I mean, we all do. And I’m trying to cope with it as best I can, but like I said, there are many days when it hits me pretty hard. I know that we’ll never fully heal from our past wounds, but it doesn’t mean that we can’t accept our present pains and learn to cope with it in a positive way. I know I have to accept my own pain and learn to be at peace with my anxieties and depression. It’s the only way for me to grow as a human being, and to gain the emotional intelligence that I need to keep fighting and learning about what it really means to find joy in the midst of despair.
