Letter #49

Content Warning: Social anxiety, Low self-esteem, Self-deprecation

Today, I would like to open up and share my personal experiences with social anxiety. Social anxiety, for me, has been an ongoing battle throughout my life. It is characterized by an intense fear of social interactions and situations, where I constantly worry about being judged or humiliated by others. This fear can become so overwhelming that it hinders my ability to engage in everyday activities and enjoy the company of others. 

One of the biggest challenges I faced was feeling trapped in my own thoughts and self-doubt. It felt as though everyone was watching, scrutinizing my every move, and that any small mistake I made would be magnified and remembered. This constant fear of judgment not only affected my social life but also seeped into other aspects of my daily routine, such as work or school.

During my college years, I found myself struggling to engage in social situations. Simple tasks like participating in class discussions, attending social events, or even having conversations with my peers became overwhelming for me. The fear of being judged or criticized made it difficult for me to express myself and connect with others.

This constant unease created a barrier between me and the opportunities available for personal growth and development. At times, I felt isolated and misunderstood. It seemed like everyone around me was effortlessly interacting and forming connections, while I struggled silently. It affected my self-esteem and confidence, making me doubt my abilities. I often found myself avoiding situations that triggered my social anxiety, which further limited my experiences and hindered my personal and academic growth. 

It took me a long time to realize that social anxiety is not something to be ashamed of. 

Opening up about my anxieties and seeking support from loved ones has been instrumental in my journey towards healing. Fortunately, with the support of understanding friends, family, and professional help, I am OK now.

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